1, toad turtle is seen by the river bathing,
turtle: have not seen such beauty as I do? Think you almost have to jump out of the eyeball.
Toad: Girl, you're kidding me , did not see me, you have goose bumps?
2, oriole see Xunsi the weasel said:
Carter, oriole was shot down, weasel cursed: Q: What does she do?
dragonfly: It was singer Oh!
dragonfly mom: singer? ago on a dig in!
4, an ant and tree crow fight!
Ant: You kind of give me down!
Crow: So, you kind of give me up!
ant: good! you waiting for me to have you look good!
Crow: What do you want ?
ant: I'll go get all my brothers, shake you down and killed along with you!
5, both the welfare lottery feces shell mantis, a dragonfly feces shell: I want to put in a radius of 50 awards where to buy down the toilet, eat your fill!
feces shell dragonfly B: Ah Tai Su you! I hit the jackpot on the package if the one living, eat fresh!
6, the public Butterfly Butterfly sings on the mother: , you fly slowly and carefully in front of roses without thorns! : Do not look, is the big boss, live in villas, honeymoon, let's say nothing in this life Do not try!
8, the first day, the white rabbit to the river fishing, caught nothing, go home. < br> The next day the rabbit went to the river fishing, or catch nothing, go home.
third day, the white rabbit arrived in the river, a big fish to jump out from the river, directed at the rabbit shouted:
TMD If you dare to use Hu carrots as bait, I'll die you flat!
(a) drink too much of a village home into the wrong pen, lying mother pig around, said: Wife: Give me some water, sow a hum hum, the village head said, do not chant will not fall down, what Caesar Johnson. readily touched, said: buy leather you, or double-breasted it. < br> (b) of the old couple to take pictures, the photographer asked: ? hair, and he shouted out Nepal! foreigners shocked, and even the elderly will be foreign language! presented its chocolate, dried sweet potatoes the old lady thought it was, and said: I Laiwu there! foreigners fainted!
(VI) Butterfly on bees, said: You're a petty, equipment sweet but a stomach are reluctant to give me a bee wrote: Hmm! said I, you two antennas on his head so long Why do not message me it.
(g) {peer} beetles and mosquitoes love, beetles: (h) husband: is it now? Wife: ten, her husband: the whole it? wife: it is too early, others do not get some sleep! I asked ten o'clock it? Wife: eleven in the whole bar.
(x) Wife: night is not trying to Event? husband: the old thought, his wife: not allowed to say that tired after work that night, not the spirit, can not get away fool husband: a must, wife: That night, my clothes are washed for it.
(k) of a young woman out the trash, do not accidentally slipped in the garbage, was about to get back up again by a scavenging old man in his arms, feeling the old man said: the city people are not live, so do not do a good wife, said the.
(xii) an NPC toes suddenly blue, miracle-working doctor diagnosed with cancer, so resection, a few days, two toes become blue, the removal of three days later, bluish feet wide, had to switch to large hospitals, the last expert consultation diagnosis: socks fade.
an agricultural town to catch a donkey, donkey red light , fined 10 yuan. farmer drank donkey: Business chased you think you are what, to lift who stands and who stand to lift. ah you think you are wealthy, not to drink to accompany Miss. What is China Telecom, Internet access to so much. further management and farmers became very silent. farmer said: play, what are you going to call her husband
Secretary: these days I want to go to Beijing for a meeting with the boss to call her husband
lover: My wife was not at home these days, to accompany me to call
Valentine counseling students: the teacher something these days, closed
students called Grandpa: these days not in class, you play with Grandpa Grandpa
call to the secretary: Beijing can not go to, and grandson asked me to
Clerk to the man called: CEOs suddenly not something her husband to Beijing for a meeting of the
lover call: his wife does not go, another time to counsel students call
lover: as usual these days!!!
students to call Grandpa: 555 teacher said usual these days to the Secretary-called grandfather
: or go to Beijing now, are you ready for
3. a beggar knocked on the window said: Give me money.
saw Mr., to say: it gives you a cigarette.
beggar said: I do not smoke, give me some money.
, said: I car have beer, you drink bottle bar.
beggar said: I do not drink, give me some money.
, said: If this is so, I take you to mahjong, I pay you betting on, is you win. < br> beggar said: I do not gamble, give me some money.
, said: I'll take you to the sauna to enjoy , give me some money.
President: Are you on the train, and I take you back, let my wife see: a non-smoking, no drinking, no gambling, no prostitution good men to hybrid Han like!
Mr. Chang graduated from the police academy two years of marriage, the wife always felt something was different, suspected his wife was having an affair. day, Mr. Zhang is always found his wife on a cell phone text messages from strangers, and each message content is the same: curse: not underestimate me, do you think that message I do not understand? read backwards is hours, the snail has not come back, the turtle anxious curse: fuck I do not come back to starve to death! Then the door came the sound of a snail: I say you are his mother not to go!
day, the cow ass out of a problem, ask Well!
2. seven years after graduation, and finally take a big project, building a chimney meters, two-month period, cost three hundred thousand, but to Loaning. finally finished at the end of last year out today. people to come to acceptance, being yelled die, not get paid. damn! drawings look backwards, others to dig a well!
3. a drunken man accidentally fell from the third floor, attracted passers-by crowd , a policeman came: What happened? drunk: do not know, I also just arrived.
4. The doctor asked the patient how the fracture. The patient said, I think the shoes of sand to hold the poles shake shoes . TMD has a bastard through there, thought I was electrocuted, he took a stick gave me two sticks!
a saying, turtles father, mother and son of a bitch turtle family decided to go hiking, they took a brick- and two cans of the sea bottom
chicken, then went off to Yangmingshan. hard to climb ten years, at last! they sat on the floor, remove the equipment quasi
prepare dinner. the result, but found no band can opener! < br> son of a bitch: Turtle Mom:
blink of an eye is five years, the son of a bitch still can not see tracks. tortoises regardless of the parents! old couple decided to start.
out pie eating hh
is preparing to open suddenly, son of a bitch stuck his head out from behind a tree to hh
son of a bitch: !
6. small Xin: Daddy, why does the name of which three gold?
Dad: lack of gold in your life, so take the name of Xin, like some life in the water to take named Miao, some life in the absence of wood called Forest.
small Xin: Dad, you say that Guo Jingjing and her sister what life in the missing?
7. a pair of male and female friends sitting on a park bench on love, women suddenly want to fart.
to the man said: I am Valley Division of the birds, not as you listen.
men really than hear.
Thus, women in the under the cover of the birds singing readily put a fart sound.
women: do not like the valley like a bird?
M: fart too loud, I could not!
8. turtle injured. Let snail to buy medicine. after 2 hours. snail has not come back. turtle anxious curse: fuck I do not come back to die! Then the door came the sound of a snail: You say I do not fucking a!
9. somebody keep a pig, trouble, abandoned, then know that return pig, the number of abandoned reactive. day, the car turned a lot of bending abandoned pig, late-night call the family, asked: whether the pig go? out, have climbed to the elephants. elephant shook himself, the ants were all fall down. At this point there is one in the elephant's neck, falling ants loudly called for br> 11. day computer class, there is a row of students computer crashed. Then a student stood up and said: : are dead, why did you die? , monkey scared, and now we must eat a good amount.
13. Xiao Ming: silly it hh , ah hh the sentence: ; helpless man said: I know you see the word offensive!
our next 2 times this week the rain, the first 4 days following the next 3 days the second time!
Huaguoshan you been? I had in heaven very bad, because there is no gravity, so the stool, urine, tears and snot are not fall, do not you say bitter?
beef noodle soup here is very delicious, Maybe you can come with us to the West restaurant to eat hot pot!
your sister give birth to the Goddess of Mercy, because students do not know the man or woman, we do not know if you want to be uncle or aunt!
I sent to your clothes you got me ? going to send overweight when I was afraid, so cut out the buttons on the clothes pocket!
is late to write here, the time to me to play, remember not to drink plenty of water, or to here Urine does not come out very hard to accept!
PS had wanted to send money to you, but the envelope has been glued
!
17. a patient to the doctor complaining of dyspepsia: I recently very normal, eating What pull anything, eat cucumber pull cucumber, watermelon eating watermelon pull, how to restore normal? doctors silent for a moment, that you can only eat shit out.
18. someone to go to Shanghai on business in the street lost a dollar, Police said: . One day an ant is the sun, suddenly saw an elephant walking leisurely, got busy with straight front legs, next to the rabbit hurriedly asked you doing? ant said: I mixed his foot , and earthworms father thought, put his into the minced meat. earthworm mother cried and said: hh suddenly want to play football
21. tortoise and the hare hare quickly ran to the front ... .. went to see a turtle snail .. very slowly and said to him: you come, I carry you it .. .. and then after a while the snail on the table .. .. .. turtle saw an ant said to him: Come on you .. .. so the ants, the ants have come up to see the future .. snail to the above said something to him .. Mom and dad got out, leaving only one son still inside. mother is very nervous outside the house shouted: out ....did not come out ...... and nervous mother shouting, Socks A ........< br> 23. a man to be wearing a river fishing leaves no fish on the hook ~ half, he changed a piece of bread, like a half-day did not fish on the hook ~ ~ no way he had enchant the same or half-day earthworm ~ ~ ~ He did not fish on the hook under the ~ anger fell into the water out 100rmb cursed: nose, but he forgot to bring a handkerchief, and to keep the nose to nose forced inhalation. In writing on the board of> language teacher suddenly turned to a lot of noises: a quiet class. teachers are> said: minutes to earn $ 3. Being a woman, then marry a man like me; ; by! really there! indescribably tragic love story, it tells us: there is no opportunity to bathe at home, so be sure to go outside shower to wash .....< br> 28. Xiao Ming back to the classroom with the teacher after using the toilet, said: There are many toilet ant . one person at work always placed ring fart, colleagues said he could not resist: A: they bully me, said I bloodthirsty, a vampire. million bought a Western Zhou pottery, called yesterday to columns were identified, experts said gravely: Today, I do not pass the math test yet. executed prisoners, the bullet is ; you strangle me, too scary! no one can see a very angry uncle scolded him, you know why? first meeting, beetles: Pinch pill
36. a man always find a girlfriend, but unfortunately went to fortune. fortune tellers say: you, no woman before the half-bound; not the man's face lit up: That I should have a right later in life? fortune Teacher says: hey, to later in life you get used to a person's life
37. a person to eat, see a piece of beef noodles in beef, it pointed to the bowl asked the boss: how beef is not beef noodles? boss lightly said: Do not careful, can you expect from the wife a wife, you get that in a pie?
38. Three mice were tasting the United States, Japan, China, wine, drink American wine rats, go back to Step 3 a; drink sake mouse, go to step 2 down; drinking Chinese Erguotou mouse, holding a kitchen knife, shouted: for a long time customer call waiter asked, , and said cried: l
Shuang Shuang Ah Ah hh. r
passersby puzzled. asked: l what you are willing Ah cool. r
family cried: l Shuangsi hh Shuangsi!!
41. a man to jump, just shouted back to his wife: negotiators in the next, said: . a Lanmao mad pursuit of a mouse, and finally got married in every possible way the cat harsh care of rats, mice get fat quickly, mouse was moved: Do not get angry, I will brave live with my endless creativity. to set off the beauty of this world! In fact, I really, really very creative ...
45. friends to go mountain climbing to the summit, shouted a female face beautiful mountains and rivers: the motherland ah! my mother! a crush on the boys quickly followed by her screaming: the motherland ah! my wife's mother!
46. before I bought two puppies, called face If your came a voice: said: ass wipe away! [the mouse when the toilet paper out ..
49. just chat with friends, which comes to you, you know? me and they had a falling out, and almost beat them, because some of them say you monkey, and some that you like the gorilla, it is too much! did not see you as a pig!
50. panda birthday, you said: I made two wishes, one can take my black eye healed, the other is hope to have a color photograph
51. Kuangzhui bees butterflies, butterfly is married to a snail. bee puzzled: Where is he better than me butterflies answer: whatever the outcome, people have their own house, which, like you live in the dormitory
52. One day an elephant in the bath. Suddenly there was an ant came to this they said. you stand up. started to stand up. ant! you sit down and go. elephant puzzled Q. What do you want ah ants. A will stand up for a sit down for. ant replied! lost my underwear I see is not what you stole to wear
53. production team has just bought a donkey, but not a few day he died. just a mare in heat. production team of employees to call to the production of business in the field captain. you come back? However, I quickly make a wish, I hope you can become prettier. Who knows just finished Xu wish meteor br> 56. give me a canteen of bread as a fulcrum, and I will be able to tilt the Earth! pigs can take it, actually gave us to eat? wings, I used to suck blood. it still makes me vampire, : fishy Zhuxiu you chase all day, I drink all day long popular spicy, come now! toilet flies: Road of different phase plan not to eat in good You Shayong, the light you've seen a few beautiful ass?
60 . sophomore, all quarters of the girls like Zhou Hua Jian's songs, a tape was borrowed by us to go. day, the girls ask spread: Zhou Hua Jian I do? bunk girl answered: what in my bed ! silent two seconds, and then all the overturned bed.
61. a boy to a classmate to take a sheng nickname, called Pan Zhu, girls crying to the teacher, the teacher agreed to criticism of the boys, the next day the teachers Class terms: run to query it fierce: I am dog, what you are? ordinary dog look at it dismissively said: idiot, see, I was undercover!
seven Fairy Lake in the bath, Journey anxious can not see.
monk shouted sternly toward the lake: the donor, be careful crocodile ah!
fairies ran ashore naked.
Journey sigh: ah-led intelligence can not go beyond four monk sitting
aircraft to travel, the way the crash, but only three parachutes.
So, Tang Seng said, and everyone to answer, not answer to the jump.
Monkey: Monkey King, there are several sky, O Sun? < br> Monkey King: A.
Monkey: to give you one.
Monkey: Drifting, the sky a few moon ah?
Drifting: A.
Monkey: Also give you a hand.
side of the Pig happy, such a simple question.
Monkey: Journey, the sky a few stars ah?
....< br> Pig jumped down.
not seen long, four of them and fly to travel. the way they crash, or only three parachutes.
they continue to answer questions.
Monkey: Monkey, when the PRC was established ah?
Wukong : 1949.
Monkey: to give you one.
Monkey: Drifting, the liberation war, 死了多少人 ah?
Drifting: 250 million people.
Monkey: also give you a to.
Monkey: Journey, that 250 million people in the name of what is it?
...... Journey has just jumped from one.
third time, four of them sat aircraft to travel, and on the way and an accident.
this time, the Pig said: Master, you do not ask, I just jump.
then plunged into the stream.
Monkey hands together: Amitabha , the parachute has four
1. One night, a naked man called a taxi, the driver stared at him intently, Naked furious and shouted: You have not seen his mother naked man ah ! driver also furious: I think you where the money from his mother!
2. male and female friends to sleep a room, the woman drew the line: Over the line is brutal. woke to find the man really did not over the line, the woman the man severely beat a slap in the face: you do not even like animals!
3. Hongtao meet foreign guests one day and tried to get in a word, saying: I am Hong TaoLiu, foreign guests, saying: I am still his mother Seven of diamonds it!
4. Zai Zai was my father repaired, he went to find her mother complained: In some areas where? there almost every day, rain. The badly beaten, worried that: it father, or tell it, it is not we own the!
7. and friends to see the sunrise the top of Mount Tai, a friend pointed to the sky, said: ! reincarnation white body to the angels, and with a pair of wings, but I still want to suck blood.
God: What do you do Whisper it reincarnated.
2. have a friend for the first time in the park to sell work-study popsicles, I am sorry crying; this time, where one person suddenly shouted: is ~ ~ ~ ~ I am also ~~~~, I went to quit else in this life, to bury you! , and even asked a few times are the same frustrating answer
the boys: : Master! master wait for me ~
suddenly famous passenger stuck his head out the window, slowly in front of me: Monkey King. you do not chase the
6. One day test organisms, of which one question is to look at bird legs guess the name of a bird. a really do not understand students, angry on the paper to leave the examination room of a tear. proctor teacher was very angry and asked him: legs yixian, said: asked: What's your name? the actress replied excitedly, at home, there is a change of gas to knock on the door.
Parrot: Who.
A: for gas
parrot: Who.
A: for gas
hh
lying on the door personal home owner, the owner wondering, this is Who
door: for gas
9. One can see a bunch of things on the road, knelt down and sniffed that may be going to the toilet, hand touched his mouth to lick the next point release, and said, really is going to the toilet, but fortunately did not step on! ~
10. The doctor asked the patient how the fractures, A: I think the shoes of sand to hold the poles shaking shoes, I shake ah shake ...... someone thought I was electrocuted, he took a stick gave me two sticks.
11. ... A professor teaching in the field
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